I am so thrilled about Hannah Gresh’s book! Dannah is a speaker, author, and a friend.  The resources she and her team provide through Secret Keeper Girl have impacted the way that I personally raise and connect with my girls and I love sharing these resources with you! In her book, Talking with Your Daughter About Understanding Boys, Dannah and her husband, Bob, have teamed up to develop a creative resource that highlights the vital role a dad plays in a young girl’s life by dating her!

The book answers questions like:

• What was God thinking when he made girls so that we like boys?
• Why is everyone boy-crazy? Do I have to be?
• When can I start to date?
• How can I stand out from others and be pure without losing all my friends?

Dannah and Bob have taken some time to answer a few additional questions for us!

1. You’ve had a lot of success with the other books in the 8 Great Dates series, all of which are geared for moms and daughters. Why did you feel it was so important to get dads and daughters connected?

The way a girl interacts with her dad determines to some extent how she will interact with young men and men as she grows older. For example, a girl who has a healthy relationship with her dad seems to be more likely to be settled and satisfied in her relationships and doesn’t go about being boy-crazy. Conversely, many studies on fatherless homes reveal that the absence of a dad puts a girl at risk of dating earlier, seeking older guys as boyfriends, and even perhaps a risk of an earlier sexual debut. We want to be a part of bringing the hearts of daughters to their dads.

2. You cite some research in the book that says 30% of 11 year old girls have had a boyfriend. Really?

We are fairly certain that the percentage is much higher today than it was then. So much has happened to girls between now and then. For example, we didn’t have the word “tween” being used or recognized in 2003. Now it’s an official “demographic.”

3. Some tween’s parents think it’s too early to be concerned about boys, claiming that at this age it’s just “cute” and harmless. What’s your take when you hear someone say that?

Being in a dating relationship for six months or longer is a significant risk factor for early teen sexual activity. Can you see why it might not be “cute” for our 8-12 year olds to be boy crazy or to have multiple boyfriends while they are still in the fourth grade? If your daughter develops the pattern of “needing” a guy when she is eight or nine, she’s going to be in many six-month relationships in her teen years. That’s not wise. Let’s help her stay off the boy crazy train.

Approximately fifty percent of sixteen-year-old girls are sexually active, and most are boy crazy. In the survey of 1,200 Christian teens which was conducted to write Lies Young Women Believe, I was heart-broken to find just how dependent Christian girls are for guys. It didn’t matter what school type—public, private or home—68% of Christian girls said they’d be happier if they had a boyfriend. There was no other lie we uncovered that was as equally prevalent among all three school types. Doesn’t matter how you’re choosing to educate your girl, she’s at risk to feel a pull to “need” a guy when she’s in high school.

4. How can a mom encourage a reluctant dad to intentionally connect with his daughter?

Give him a copy of the book to read some of what we wrote in the early pages about how important Dad is, share with him a memory you have with your dad, or just ask him but be kind and positive. It’s so important not to nag him into the relationship and to remember that dads do it differently than moms. Moms tend to be very organized, formal, and pre-planned. Dads tend to do it on the fly and in the moment. Let him be a guy! (We would not be opposed to leaving the book in the bathroom for him to discover! Great things happen in bathrooms.)

5. What encouragement can you give the single mom?

In Dannah’s book, Six Ways To Keep The Good In Your Boy, she interviewed Angela Thomas who spent many years as a single mom. No one ever wakes up and says, “Gee, one day I’d like to parent and I’d like to do it all alone.” It’s not by choice. We know that. But you can be intentional and make a choice about putting a male leader into your daughter’s life. And uncle. Grandfather. Youth pastor. We were inspired by that when we connected with Angela. She made sure her boys had godly men in their lives and there are ways to do that. You can do that for your boys and your girls. Pray about it. Seek advice. And be confident that God is a Father to the fatherless.